Right now, it feels like:
You get motivated, you tell yourself “this time will be different” but a few days later, you’re back in the same cycle. Starting, stopping, feeling frustrated with yourself. You know you’re capable of more — you’ve seen glimpses of it. But when it’s time to actually show up, something holds you back. Overthinking, hesitation, second-guessing everything. You replay conversations in your head. Wondering if you said the wrong thing.
If people actually like you. If you’re doing enough. You find yourself needing reassurance — A message, a compliment, someone choosing you — Just to feel okay for a moment. But it never really lasts. And with God, you want to be consistent. You want to feel close to Him. But some days you feel connected and other days, distant, distracted, or just not there.
You keep thinking: “I need to change, I can’t keep living like this.” But you don’t know where to start — Or how to actually make it stick this time.